Starscream's Adventure

I, Starscream, future leader of the mighty Decepticon army decided to venture out alone into the city of London. My aims were to explore the humans' transportation systems to look for weaknesses and generally enjoy the sights of the city.

I had no idea that pigeons were quite so large.

It turns out that the British humans have developed rather intricate underground systems in tubes to transport themselves around. We do not have such things on Cybertron, for our alt modes cater for us when we need to travel long distances.

Humans are very strange creatures indeed. The maps of the "Underground" or "Tube", as the tea-drinkers call it, are very complicated and I suspect that they needn't be so. (Just for the record, the burger-eaters call it the "Subway".)

For example, I do not see why so many different coloured lines are required when most of them cross over anyway. The dark blue and light blue lines go to very similar locations. Why could they not just have one line instead of two?

Oh well, I suppose their logic is merely inferior to ours.

After an extremely long, boring journey on the "Tube", full of fleshies reading newspapers and other such nonsense, I finally got to travel on the "Overground". (I know, the fleshies are very creative, aren't they?)

But before I discuss that, I would just like to say this.

To every fleshie who listens to music while riding the "Underground": I do not need to hear your audio-splitting rubbish. Please turn it the frag down. Just because the train is loud, doesn't mean you must turn your iPod contraption up to full volume so that I can hear it too! Primus, the next fleshie I see with audio devices stuck in their ears will have their iPod shoved down their oxygen-breathing throat until they choke and die or are miraculously electrocuted! I know that this would make Soundwave very happy. He is quite bitter about these "iPods". Perhaps I should experiment on turning Frenzy into one...

Also, why must the fleshies insist on handing me these "free newspapers"? They are full of trivial slag! I will read a real newspaper if I want to know what is going on on this Primus-forsaken planet. Not that I would anyway because it's stupid! Stupid I say!

Ahem.

Anyway, as I was saying, I travelled on the "Overground" train to a location outside the main city. The scenery was rather delightful, I must admit. This planet does have some merits, even if it is populated by idiots.

I am rather looking forward to my journey now, even though Megatron shall be travelling with me. Apparently I cannot be trusted alone.

Then again, while his back is turned, I may finally get my chance!