In The Land of Endless Summer

Megatron: After flying by plane, Astrotrain, falling stars, jet-packs, and a disgruntled pelican, we finally arrived at our next location in what the humans call “paradise” or "Florida". I call it a deathtrap-home of ferocious beasts, prehistoric wildlife, and monstrous aquatics which dwell beneath the ocean’s surface…this would be a perfect location for another Decepticon base!

Starscream: But we realized that those accursed Autobots had already claimed a residence somewhere along the beach. Only four mechs were defending it, though. Dragging our first-class transportation unit along (Megatron REFUSED to leave behind a carrier that came equipped with separate bathrooms, bedrooms, satellite dish and a bar), we burst into their base and demanded for control of it to be relinquished to the mighty Decepticons!



Megatron: "Bluestreak! Sideswipe! Powerglide! You are no match for Starscream and I! Bow down to me, pledge your allegiance to the Decepticons, and I might just spare your lives!"

Sideswipe: "…Powerglide, give me your gun."

Powerglide: "What? But you already have a gun!"

Sideswipe: "I WANT THE BIG GUN."



Starscream: We left them to their shelf shortly afterwards. However, we did manage to convert the alarm clock to a Decepticon....

Megatron: But we did not return to our transportation unit. One Autobot was still missing, and, according to a communications update from Soundwave, he was not a canon character, and thus, unable to transform. Finding his signal outside of the Autobot base, we attempted to capture him.

Starscream: "Autobot! Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

Backburn: "...I'm right here, idiot."



Megatron: ...We quickly realized our mistake.

Starscream: "But-but-but...you're not canon! You can't exist in this reality!"

Backburn: "OH REALLY?!"



Starscream: After a bit of, uh...vigerous exercise, Backburn decided that we were not a threat, and agreed to allow us to tour around his home; the incompetant fool believes that once we grow bored, we will quietly leave!

Megatron: We were told that our stop in Florida would not be complete without visiting the nearest water-mass. So, after an exchange of words with the Autobot (mostly consisting of "fragged-up-son-of-a-glitch", "aft-face", and "dipstick-up-the-exhaust-pipe"), he agreed to drive us there.



Megatron: "Onward, to the ocean!"

Starscream: "Why do I have to steer??"



Megatron: As soon as wee pulled up to the water's edge, we spotted a pelican dive-bombing into the water, like a Seeker with stalled-out engines.

Starscream: Hey!

Megatron: The bird did not catch whatever prey he had been hunting, but took off to the sky shortly aftewards with an entire squadron of other pelicans. Starscream and I sat on the rocks and enjoyed the view, until he realized...

Starscram: "Wait a minute! There are TREES on the other side of this ocean! This isn't an ocean at all! Autobot, where have you taken us?!"

Backburn: *scoffs* The lagoon. There's no time to go to the ocean right now. We'll do that another day.

Megatron: "Not enough time?! What could possibly stop two of the universe's most powerful Decepticons from going to the beach?!"

Thunder: *ba-BOOM*

Megatron: ...We returned to our cozy transportation unit a few minutes later. When the weather clears up, we will return to conquer the beach!

Megatron: For some reason, Starscream thought I would be interested in converting these vehicles into soldiers. I can't imagine why. Anything this much like an Autobot, and this lightly armed is useless to me. You would think that after nine MILLION years he would know what would make a good Decepticon. Honestly, I despair of him sometimes.


Starscream: So then I suggested, strongly, that he consider something like THIS.

Or maybe THESE. Although they seem somewhat untrustworthy.

But all he wanted was some kind of super-weapon. I told him that a universal remote wasn't going to be a good idea. Oh well, he'll learn.

I'll wait here for the explosion.

Starscream: While Megatron napped following our arrival, I struck out in search of some suitable sources of energon. This place was interesting, but the energon had an unfortunately fishy flavor. I didn't think Megatron would care for it, so I was forced to finish it all.

Megatron: Our unfortunately low-class means of travel had severely drained our energy, and so we were forced to spend quite a while in "movie watching stasis mode" while we made further plans.

Starscream: I was also able to escape the abominable company of Megatron for a short while while securing a more suitable passage for his further travel. For some reason, he just doesn't trust me to fly him. Suspicious old tyrant.

Megatron: Our impending plans were interrupted by an urgent and unwelcome summons from some presumptious fellow in outer-space. A short fusion-cannoning later, and we were back on the original intention for our mission, world domination.

A Change of Venue

Megatron: After finally emerging from the stasis coma forced upon us by our narrow escape from those accursed Primes, Starscream suggested that we travel to our next destination in a less obtrusive manner. I agreed. I must have been still groggy from the coma.


Starscream: Upon emerging from our stealth delivery capsule, I was delighted to note that we had arrived in precisely the location I had planned. Another flawless plan, brilliantly executed by Starscream. I pointed this out to Megatron, but he was unimpressed.


Megatron: I had made the rational decision to vaporize Starscream and go on my way, but the pathetic fool pleaded for mercy and started babbling about "tactical superiority" and "totally worth it". Curse my curiosity, but I allowed him to live, for now.


Starscream: As I explained to that thickheaded dolt, the destination's value was definitely worth the slight inconvenience of our means of arrival. If only he could ever learn to be patient. *sigh* The things I put up with for the Decepticon cause. He'll see, though. They'll ALL see.

Things go wrong.

Megatron:
So, we arrived in Philadelphia several months ago, but Starscream's usual incompetence somehow managed to damage the camera-

Starscream:
IT WASN'T MY FAULT! I'm telling you, the baggage attendant must have dropped something!

Megatron:
Starscream, you WERE the baggage attendant. In fact, YOU were the PLANE! Anyway, things didn't much improve once we got the camera fixed.



Megatron:
I can't believe that these pitiful organics have built a shrine to this useless hunk of metal. It doesn't even operate properly, let alone transform!



Starscream:
I don't know, oh mighty Megatron, a few throw pillows, some curtains, and it might be suitable to put somewhere in your throne room.

Megatron:
... you've been drinking destabilized Enegron again, haven't you, Starscream?

Starscream:
Maybe a little.

Megatron:
But that shall not stop us... for we shall use this as the starting point from which we shall conquer this city!

????:
If only it were that easy, Megatron.

Megatron:
WHO DARES?



Human Slagpit:
Ya see, your plan is all well and good, but for the fact that you were looking at a hologram. Welcome to SLF Enterprises, Megsy, and might I introduce you to my Optimus Prime Chorus?

Vast collection of Primes:
NOT SO FAST, MEGATRON!

Megatron:
NOOOOOOOOOO! DECEPTICONS! RETREAT!

Starscream:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Can't stand up to a single little human, Megatron? And you call yourself Decepticon leader!

Human Slagpit:
Ok, guys, we drove off Megatron, now let's show Starscream how we play Seeker Pinata!

Starscream:
On second thought, GOTTA GO! MIGHTY MEGATRON, WAIT FOR ME!

In Ol' Virginny

MEGATRON:
The human Nagi took us on her final trip of the year to Virginia. We learned of another temporal rift that would take us back to the Colonial days. So we traveled to Williamsburg to find this temporal rift and conquer early Virginia.

STARSCREAM:
Here we are at the gateway to the temporal rift. Apparently humans have turned these temporal rifts into tourist attractions. Then again, humans are easier to entertain than we sophisticated Cybertronians. A simple ball and stick can entertain these creatures for an entire season.

MEGATRON:
As we travel the path to the old town, I cannot help but wonder at the other humans travelling to see this sight. Mayhaps I can apply this to Cybertron, create little temporal rifts that lead back to the former golden age. It is something to consider...

STARSCREAM:
Megatron stands before the Governor's Palace. I think he's decided to claim this as his thrown of power. I think he's just going to blow it all to frell when he gets bored with it...

MEGATRON:
This is the Magazine and Guardhouse. While it is rather primitive and ineffectual against our kind, it's still a good idea to size up our competition. Can never be too careful when it comes to ammunition.

STARSCREAM:
Sometimes I thank PRIMUS we awoke in the time period we did. I can barely believe that this vehicle drawn by organic equines were the most viable form of transportation! Ugh... just the smell alone would have me out...

MEGATRON:
This early world was certainly a different place than what it is today. Not a Starbucks in sight! This is unacceptable! When I take over, I will have my frappacinos!

STARSCREAM:
And here is the Capitol building. Ah, politics, where would the Decepticon Empire be without it?

STARSCREAM:
Thankfully, by posing as tax collectors we were able to gain back our travel budget so now we are capable of resuming our conquest of the United States!

MEGATRON:
And with the conquest of Virginia, we big the flesh creature Nagi adieu as we journey to Pennsylvania and begin the next phase of our plan. Mwa ha ha ha... This state won't know what hit it!

VIVA LAS VEGAS!

MEGATRON:
The flesh creature, Nagi took us to the city of Las Vegas. A city of Avarice and Sin, the perfect environment for Decepticon regime! Unfortunately we had to contend with the flesh creature's pet Autobots Tracks, Red Alert, and Smokescreen. No matter the city of sin will call me master!

STARSCREAM:
I can't believe Megatron had the gall to make me ride with the luggage! We arrived at the Excalibur, the base of operations we would be sharing. Megatron was rather pleased that we were staying in a castle. He said something about it suiting his role as master and king of all he surveys.

MEGATRON:
While I took part in the libations provided AMPLY by the hotel's room service. I ordered Starscream to investigate the local scenery. There is going to be a lot of ground to cover. I can tell.

STARSCREAM:
We stopped for refueling at this place called Margaritaville. Not a bad location and it seemed to hold a special significance to Red Alert...

MEGATRON:
I just remembered that I trusted Starscream with our travel budget. Oh well, I'm sure the money is in safe hands. It's not as if he's stupid enough to be taken in by the glitz and sparkling slot machines. Not MY second in command.

STARSCREAM:
What happens in Vegas, STAYS in Vegas. That goes for the travel money I lost to the one armed bandits. Anyways, Red Alert INSISTED we dress up if he follow him to the Jimmy Buffett concert. I don't see why he worships that human so...

MEGATRON:
Starscream seemed rather eager to go out and explore Vegas again today. In fact he's been rather eager to stay away from me. I'll have to look into that later. Today he investigated the Luxor.

STARSCREAM:
So far I think that Megatron has yet to suspect my bungling of our funds. I hope to keep it that way... Today we stayed in a cabana outside by the pool. A rather pleasant peaceful day to relax in the hot desert sun.

MEGATRON:
I soundly trounced Starscream for squandering away our money. The fool needs to learn his place... So to relax, I've decided to investigate the Mandaly Bay casino with Red Alert.

MEGATRON:
I'm satisfied that we have successfully conquered this strange city and added it to our list of conquests. This well traveled flesh creature has even spoke of traveling to Virginia. Another state I can subjugate to my will!

MEGATRON:
As we say good bye to this strangely wonderful town, I can't help but enjoy this adventure. Taking over states one at a time, while grossly inefficient, allows me a rare opportunity to study humans in their natural environment. I can only hope Virginia offers me a similar challenge as Las Vegas did.