Starscream: “Sooo…can we go to SeaWorld?”
Megatron: “No.”
Starscream: “How about DisneyWorld?”
Megatron: “No.”
Starscream: “Then Universal Studios?”
Megatron: “No.”
Starscream: “Islands of Adventure?”
Megatron: “No.”
Starscream: “Kennedy Space Center?”
Megatron: “No.”
Starscream: “Blue Springs?”
Megatron: “No.”
*30 minutes later*
Megatron: “You think I would PAY to visit any of these places?! The first step towards the humans’ destruction is to lay waste to their economy! Admission prices stimulate cash flow! I refuse to turn over my credits to a bunch of fleshlings!”
Starscream: “…You’re broke, aren’t you?”
Megatron: Several hours (and one boot-to-the-cranial-unit) later, we had convinced the resident Autobot to transport us to the beach.
Megatron: Another sign nearby declared Daytona Beach as "The World's Most Famous Beach." This bridge lead right over the highway to the Speedway, where I once used the Transfixatron against the Autobots during one of their worthless charity races...the Stunticons may find some entertainment there, so I won't destroy it just yet.
Megatron: Since the front entrance was under construction, this was as close as we could approuch the Speedway, after crossing the bridge.
Megatron: A quick jump over the causeway to an adjacent pennisula...
Megatron: ...and we finally arrived at the beach!
Megatron: We were told that we had arrived at a good time; tourist season was over, and during the weekday morning, most of the local residents were at their workplaces. We had this section of the beach mostly to ourselves, and, considering how much I despise picking human parts out of my toes, was fine with me. But instead of human parts...
Starscream: "Sand! Seashells! Everywhere! Yeech! *shakes his arms and legs* It's in my ball bearings! I'm going to crunch when I move!"
Megatron: "Then sit down and relax! You wanted to enjoy the local features, well, now you get to do so!"
Starscream: "This is insanity! If I had wanted to be this dusty, I would be clinging to the hindquarters of a comet! I think a sand flea just crawled up my aft! That's it! I'm going to go wash this off! *storms off towards the surf*"
Megatron: "Starscream, be careful that you don't get caught in a..."
Starscream: *SPLASH!*
Megatron: "...rip current."
Starscream: "AAAUGH!! SOMEONE SAVE ME!! HEEEEELP!!"
Megatron: "Wonderful. My second-in-command is incompetant, rebellious, greedy, and he sinks like a stone in water. *facepalm*"
Lifeguard: "I got you! *hauls Starscream out of the ocean*"
Starscream: "*pant* *wheeze* Uuugh...rescued by a human...this is so embarrassing..."
Megatron: "But perfect for blackmail! Say 'Hoff'! *holds up camera*"
Lifeguard: "Hoooooff! *shiny-teeth grin*"
Starscream: I don't understand the human obsessions with these sorts of males. Enraged by the mockery of being rescued by one, I attempted to eliminate him, but was thrown across the beach as soon as I raised my null-ray. Clearly the human's strength is some sort of derivative from the war-paint on his nose.
Megatron: For those with poor eyesight, the sign, read vertically, says "No Vehicles Beyond This Point." Although cars are allowed to drive on this beach for $5, they are restricted to the packed-sand lanes, and cannot move very quickly. I was quickly able to get to the boardwalk from this staircase. Starscream, however, was stopped by several more lifeguards and had to explain that a jet plane didn't qualify as a "vehicle."
Starscream: "Oh, look! THERE'S the warning sign for rip currents! Not anywhere near the ocean, but on the boardwalk!"
Megatron: "You do realize that you're supposed to read it as you enter the beach, correct?"
Starscream: "*mutters something*"
Megatron: When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Nearly every human we found was sprawled out across the sand, but were not injured, dead or sleeping. Eventually we found out that the humans can change the color of their out layers by roasting themselves in the radiation of the closest star. Naturally, Starscream wanted to try this for himself, and he somehow convinced me to do so as well. Although relaxing, neither of us changed color. Starscream argued that his shoulders had gotten sunburned...I was quick to remind him that his shoulders have always been red anyway.
Human: "...Hey! You're getting sand in your joints!"
Starscream: "So? What's it to you?"
Human: "You'll need to wash off before you leave the beach!"
Megatron: "GAAA!! My instruction manual says I can only be lightly rinsed! LIGHTLY rinsed! Release me at once, human!"
Starscream: "I'm drowning again! HEEEEELP!!...Sweet Primus, not the lifeguard again! DON'T HELP!! DON'T HELP!!"
Backburn: "Alright, you two ready to head back?"
Starscream: "...Yes. Can we just call this area conquered and move on?"
Megatron: "For once, Starscream, I like your plan. Autobot, take us home."
Backburn: "WHOA, whoa whoa. You guys are covered in sand and water!"
Starscream: "...You're point?"
Backburn: "I'm not letting you on my seat covers!"
Megatron: "Then what do you propose we do!?"
Backburn: "Sit on a towel! That's what my human always does!"
Starscream: "We didn't bring a towel!"
Backburn: "*evil smirk* That's alright..."
Starscream: "...This is HUMILIATING."
Megatron: "Quiet. We'll be back in our traveling box soon enough."
