A Change of Venue

Megatron: After finally emerging from the stasis coma forced upon us by our narrow escape from those accursed Primes, Starscream suggested that we travel to our next destination in a less obtrusive manner. I agreed. I must have been still groggy from the coma.


Starscream: Upon emerging from our stealth delivery capsule, I was delighted to note that we had arrived in precisely the location I had planned. Another flawless plan, brilliantly executed by Starscream. I pointed this out to Megatron, but he was unimpressed.


Megatron: I had made the rational decision to vaporize Starscream and go on my way, but the pathetic fool pleaded for mercy and started babbling about "tactical superiority" and "totally worth it". Curse my curiosity, but I allowed him to live, for now.


Starscream: As I explained to that thickheaded dolt, the destination's value was definitely worth the slight inconvenience of our means of arrival. If only he could ever learn to be patient. *sigh* The things I put up with for the Decepticon cause. He'll see, though. They'll ALL see.

Things go wrong.

Megatron:
So, we arrived in Philadelphia several months ago, but Starscream's usual incompetence somehow managed to damage the camera-

Starscream:
IT WASN'T MY FAULT! I'm telling you, the baggage attendant must have dropped something!

Megatron:
Starscream, you WERE the baggage attendant. In fact, YOU were the PLANE! Anyway, things didn't much improve once we got the camera fixed.



Megatron:
I can't believe that these pitiful organics have built a shrine to this useless hunk of metal. It doesn't even operate properly, let alone transform!



Starscream:
I don't know, oh mighty Megatron, a few throw pillows, some curtains, and it might be suitable to put somewhere in your throne room.

Megatron:
... you've been drinking destabilized Enegron again, haven't you, Starscream?

Starscream:
Maybe a little.

Megatron:
But that shall not stop us... for we shall use this as the starting point from which we shall conquer this city!

????:
If only it were that easy, Megatron.

Megatron:
WHO DARES?



Human Slagpit:
Ya see, your plan is all well and good, but for the fact that you were looking at a hologram. Welcome to SLF Enterprises, Megsy, and might I introduce you to my Optimus Prime Chorus?

Vast collection of Primes:
NOT SO FAST, MEGATRON!

Megatron:
NOOOOOOOOOO! DECEPTICONS! RETREAT!

Starscream:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Can't stand up to a single little human, Megatron? And you call yourself Decepticon leader!

Human Slagpit:
Ok, guys, we drove off Megatron, now let's show Starscream how we play Seeker Pinata!

Starscream:
On second thought, GOTTA GO! MIGHTY MEGATRON, WAIT FOR ME!

In Ol' Virginny

MEGATRON:
The human Nagi took us on her final trip of the year to Virginia. We learned of another temporal rift that would take us back to the Colonial days. So we traveled to Williamsburg to find this temporal rift and conquer early Virginia.

STARSCREAM:
Here we are at the gateway to the temporal rift. Apparently humans have turned these temporal rifts into tourist attractions. Then again, humans are easier to entertain than we sophisticated Cybertronians. A simple ball and stick can entertain these creatures for an entire season.

MEGATRON:
As we travel the path to the old town, I cannot help but wonder at the other humans travelling to see this sight. Mayhaps I can apply this to Cybertron, create little temporal rifts that lead back to the former golden age. It is something to consider...

STARSCREAM:
Megatron stands before the Governor's Palace. I think he's decided to claim this as his thrown of power. I think he's just going to blow it all to frell when he gets bored with it...

MEGATRON:
This is the Magazine and Guardhouse. While it is rather primitive and ineffectual against our kind, it's still a good idea to size up our competition. Can never be too careful when it comes to ammunition.

STARSCREAM:
Sometimes I thank PRIMUS we awoke in the time period we did. I can barely believe that this vehicle drawn by organic equines were the most viable form of transportation! Ugh... just the smell alone would have me out...

MEGATRON:
This early world was certainly a different place than what it is today. Not a Starbucks in sight! This is unacceptable! When I take over, I will have my frappacinos!

STARSCREAM:
And here is the Capitol building. Ah, politics, where would the Decepticon Empire be without it?

STARSCREAM:
Thankfully, by posing as tax collectors we were able to gain back our travel budget so now we are capable of resuming our conquest of the United States!

MEGATRON:
And with the conquest of Virginia, we big the flesh creature Nagi adieu as we journey to Pennsylvania and begin the next phase of our plan. Mwa ha ha ha... This state won't know what hit it!

VIVA LAS VEGAS!

MEGATRON:
The flesh creature, Nagi took us to the city of Las Vegas. A city of Avarice and Sin, the perfect environment for Decepticon regime! Unfortunately we had to contend with the flesh creature's pet Autobots Tracks, Red Alert, and Smokescreen. No matter the city of sin will call me master!

STARSCREAM:
I can't believe Megatron had the gall to make me ride with the luggage! We arrived at the Excalibur, the base of operations we would be sharing. Megatron was rather pleased that we were staying in a castle. He said something about it suiting his role as master and king of all he surveys.

MEGATRON:
While I took part in the libations provided AMPLY by the hotel's room service. I ordered Starscream to investigate the local scenery. There is going to be a lot of ground to cover. I can tell.

STARSCREAM:
We stopped for refueling at this place called Margaritaville. Not a bad location and it seemed to hold a special significance to Red Alert...

MEGATRON:
I just remembered that I trusted Starscream with our travel budget. Oh well, I'm sure the money is in safe hands. It's not as if he's stupid enough to be taken in by the glitz and sparkling slot machines. Not MY second in command.

STARSCREAM:
What happens in Vegas, STAYS in Vegas. That goes for the travel money I lost to the one armed bandits. Anyways, Red Alert INSISTED we dress up if he follow him to the Jimmy Buffett concert. I don't see why he worships that human so...

MEGATRON:
Starscream seemed rather eager to go out and explore Vegas again today. In fact he's been rather eager to stay away from me. I'll have to look into that later. Today he investigated the Luxor.

STARSCREAM:
So far I think that Megatron has yet to suspect my bungling of our funds. I hope to keep it that way... Today we stayed in a cabana outside by the pool. A rather pleasant peaceful day to relax in the hot desert sun.

MEGATRON:
I soundly trounced Starscream for squandering away our money. The fool needs to learn his place... So to relax, I've decided to investigate the Mandaly Bay casino with Red Alert.

MEGATRON:
I'm satisfied that we have successfully conquered this strange city and added it to our list of conquests. This well traveled flesh creature has even spoke of traveling to Virginia. Another state I can subjugate to my will!

MEGATRON:
As we say good bye to this strangely wonderful town, I can't help but enjoy this adventure. Taking over states one at a time, while grossly inefficient, allows me a rare opportunity to study humans in their natural environment. I can only hope Virginia offers me a similar challenge as Las Vegas did.

A Renaissance Affaire

MEGATRON:
Although it was HYSTERICAL that SkyLynx now has Starscream convinced that the Jersey Devil is real, we still have to keep our processors on task. Namely; World Domination. I've heard the flesh-creature talk of a place in Pennsylvania where Time and Space have ruptured and inside the rupture is medieval England. How fortuitous! We can travel back in time and conquer most of the known world in it's infancy! We passed by Philadelphia on our way to to the time rupture. Hmm, I wonder if Starscream would bounce if I shoved him out the window...

STARSCREAM:
We paused on our journey to pay homage to one who has already conquered much of the free world; Starbucks. I feel an affinity for this company and Megatron is simply addicted to their Pumpkin Spice Lattes... Hmm, perhaps I can use that later...

MEGATRON:
We have safely entered the time rupture and are now in a small corner of old England. First stop was for munitions. You can't properly conquer and inspire terror without something that goes BOOM. I found this old cason to be rather amusing, especially when it terrified some Tartans right out of their kilts!

STARSCREAM:
I'm beginning to NOT like this period of time. We toured a local dungeon, and even though this picture came out rather dark, be glad of it. You do NOT want to see the atrocities humans inflicted upon each other. Mayhaps it's that red stuff that comes out of them but it all just seems so... FRIGHTENING. I hope Megatron doesn't adopt these brutal practices...

MEGATRON:
I never thought I'd see the day when humans actually provide something useful, other than energon. These devices are PERFECT for the Decepticon regime. It's EXACTLY what I need to keep these buffoons in line! I do hope they take Visa.
((Sorry about the pics, I was in a hurry.))

STARSCREAM:
I just got a cold shiver down my spinal column relays... No matter, already Megatron was busy choosing locations for our energon generators. He certainly does not waste time, now does he.

MEGATRON:
What a comely young flesh-creature! Sorry m'lay but I'm afraid I'm not attracted to your kind. However, one I take over, I'll glad have you as one of my personal buff and polishers.

MEGATRON:
This strange flesh creature claimed to be the beggar king of England. Dethroning this human was a piece of oil cake! Well medieval England, consider yourself conquered. For now Starscream and I are off to Las Vegas to take Sin City!

Running With The (Jersey) Devil

(( Read this comic to get part of the story: http://nagi-oki.deviantart.com/art/SB-Tall-Tales-100979879 ))

Megatron:
Tonight the Autobots were sitting down around a campfire telling human apparition stories. The blue fop, Tracks, told a particularly interesting one about a denizen of the state known as the Jersey Devil. It's complete and utter nonsense, however...I DO see possibilities... ENTERTAINING possibilities... Mwa ha ha ha ha!

Starscream:
Thanks to that blue idiot, Megatron now is CONVINCED there is a monster lurking in the woods! Now he has ME out here scouring the vicinity looking for any signs that this creature exists.

Starscream:
Ok, I've been searching for a mega cycle now, still no sign of this supposed Jersey Devil. Megatron must have spilled some coffee in his circuits to think that such a legend is real! Still, the Autobots swear by it and refuse to leave the house after dark...

Starscream:
THREE MEGACYCLES now and STILL no sign of this monster! But the wood are so dark and vast. It would be impossible for me to search them all. Maybe there is-- GAH! No! I'm NOT thinking about it, I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT IT!

Starscream:
Alright, the sun is setting, it's getting dark, I'm cold, I'm in need of fuel, and the squirrels are giving me dirty looks. I'm giving up the search as fruitless. I'm not going to stay out here all night looking for a monster that obviously does NOT exist!

Megatron:
It was sometime past midnight when we were awoken from recharge by some strange sounds coming from INSIDE the house. It is probably just one of the felines lurking about, but just for fun, I sent out Starscream to investigate the disturbance. He's so snappy when he doesn't get his beauty recharge...

Starscream:
STUPID MEGATRON! Waking me up in the middle of the night to investigate some mystery noise! Oh Primus forbid our fearless leader goes out to see what the threat is himself! Still... the house is strangely quiet at night... so still... even the cats are asleep... But I'm not afraid in the dark, I'm very brave in the dark, I'm AMAZING in the dark I--

Starscream:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Decepticons Have Landed

Megatron:
We have FINALLY landed in the United States of America, in one of the smaller states known as New Jersey. Good thing too, because if Starscream asked me "Are we there yet?" one more time, I would have booted him into the Atlantic. The flesh-creature we are staying with is a rather strange one... The less said about that, the better.

Starscream:
We finally arrived, and much to our delight, there was already an established colony of Decepticons here! At first we thought they had anticipated our arrival and had secured us a base to start our hostile take over. Unfortunately, this was NOT the case. They merely are ALLOWED to live here, like tenants in an apartment. Although it WAS rather humorous to watch Megatron flip out on the leader of this colony, Shrapnel.

Megatron:
OF ALL THE IDIOTIC NONSENSE!
Not only are these Decepticons LAZY, UNMOTIVATED, OBNOXIOUS, AND IRRESPONSIBLE! Shrapnel is ineffective as a leader! None the less, I decided to take control of the colony. The apathetic morons had no interest in taking on the neighboring Autobot colony. So I decided to take them on myself...
I... had not reckoned with the uh... well...

Starscream:
I have not been able to stop laughing since Megatron decided to take on the Autobots. Skywarp told me the Decepticons are out numbered 4 to 1 here. THAT'S why they don't fight the Autobots. Common sense. Something Megatron LACKS severely. So while our GLORIOUS LEADER was enjoying a rather delightful beating. I decided to make my alliances. There was a rather handsome devil in charge of the "Brigade", a HANDSOME group of seekers that have broken off from the main group of Decepticons. I'm particularly drawn to the leader, he is so dashing, intelligent, and mighty... I think I'm falling in love!

Megatron:
After I managed to convince Ultra Magnus and Prowl I was joking about obliterating them off the face of the planet (For the moment at least). I decided to start off a little smaller. There's also an ostracized colony of Transformers here. I decided to throw my weight onto them. But... taking one look at those... those malformed machines... I-I just couldn't find it in my spark to do it. I may be a cold war machine but... those horrid faces must be hard enough on them... So I gave them a verbal threat and shot at the one I ASSUMED was Bumblebee.

Megatron:
I have not seen Starscream for a while, no doubt he is finding allies in any other Starscreams around here. I'm not worried about that, I'm more concerned about the three furry creatures roaming around this base. So far I have managed to tame one of the beasts, making it my noble steed. I'll have more to report as we take the state of New Jersey!